The Cascadian Subduction may schlong the entire Pacific Northwest; giant frozen bovine zombies may inundate the Midwest during the next hailstorm; an unassuming cod fish may take over the NY publishing empire (wait, did that already happen?); and someone may actually eat that jar of canned butternut squash in my pantry.

Which of these is most likely to happen?

None!

However, never underestimate the power of a homemade quiche to restore your faith in humanity.

In the 80’s we heard the pitiful lament that “real men don’t eat quiche”.  Well, where are those real men today?  They are eating quiche.  After 30 years, it’s nice to have something that isn’t very hard to chew.  (An alternative narrative:  they never managed to marry anyone and are now microwaving Lean Cuisine dinners.)  (Yes, I know, hetero-sexist.  Sue me.  This is supposed to be fun.  Roll with it.)

Quiches featured above, left to right: scallion and ham,  red peppers and onions,  goat cheese/mushrooms/potatoes.

So, here are the basic quiche construction directions.

• A single pie crust (I like Martha Stewart’s recipe, but the store bought one is also good). Put into pie shell and pre bake for 15 min at 400.  (Using pie weights is good.)
• 4-6 eggs (see method below)
• Approximately 1-2 C half and half or cream or milk
• 1 ½ C cheese (match it to your ingredients—but you can’t go wrong with Swiss/Emmenthaler/Gruyere/Gouda).  I like to cut mine into little 1/2 inch cubes, but shredding is also good.
• 1 ½ C of other tasty things like cooked bacon, ham, chicken, grilled onions and mushrooms, sausage, peppers, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, zucchini, broccoli, hot smoked salmon, and green onions.  You pick your favorite combination theme!
• Nutmeg—a sprinkle/grating
• S&P

Prebake the crust for 15 minutes at 400.  Remove from oven and compose your quiche.

Layer your ingredients (cheese and goodies interspersed).

For the eggs:  crack an egg into a half cup measure and then fill the rest with milk/cream.

• For a regular pie you will need 6 eggs + cream. For a smaller tart you may only need 3-4 + cream.
• Whisk eggs and cream violently together.  Add S&P.
• Pour over the ingredients.
• Grate nutmeg over top.

Put pan on a cookie sheet.  Turn oven to 325.

Place in oven and bake for 40 min (regular pie) or 25 min (tart pan size).  Check and turn midway.  If it is not browned, turn oven to 400 for 5-10 min. Remove and let set 15 min prior to serving.